


Iridescence

by Gyoro_and_Ururun



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Eventual Romance, F/M, Snily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-01-17 05:16:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1375126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gyoro_and_Ururun/pseuds/Gyoro_and_Ururun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus Snape died in the Shrieking Shack and found himself in a white place. A place familiar to him, and to the love he lost, Lily Evans. The war has not gone the way either him, Albus or Harry had expected, and Albus does the one thing that could possibly change the fate of both the wizarding and the muggle world.</p><p>Give Severus Snape a second chance. </p><p>Severus is sent back to his school years, after he had made the terrible mistake with Lily. At first he can't work out why, but it soon becomes clear to him. If he had any chance with Lily, she had to forgive him and care for him again despite his faults. </p><p>He had changed a lot over his seventeen years as a Professor, but had he changed enough? Will he be able to make things right and save the wizarding world or would history repeat itself?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Death and Rebirth

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! 
> 
> So this isn't a new story; I had this on Fanfiction.net and my muse cracked out for it, so I'm posting it here and editing it as well, so it won't be completely the same. Hopefully better. 
> 
> I just want to make a couple of things clear: 
> 
> Yes, Severus will eventually get with Lily, even if that might not seem certain at times. James will be getting with an OC, as will Remus and possibly Sirius. The focus will be on Severus and Lily, however, so the others will come in as and when. 
> 
> I understand that in the books Severus went around calling most but Lily 'mudbloods', but this is to be ignored, because even without that, Severus isn't a saint. It just doesn't work into my headcanon for him and for him in this story. I apologise to those who prefer to keep a lot of canon in even when reading AUs, but I think fanfiction has that beauty: we don't have to stick to every single detail.  
> 
> Enjoy!

Death was awaiting. It had been a long time coming and Severus welcomed it with open arms, or at least he would, had he not had one terrifying thought: Harry Potter did not know the last vital clue to his search for horcruxes. The cruel truth Albus had kept hidden from everyone, even himself, until the vital moment. _For ‘the greater good.’ Like everything, where Albus was concerned._ It made him angry; he had lived only to protect her son, to make amends for his wretched mistakes that cost her everything. He needed to tell Harry the truth, but it would seem that it was not meant to be. He could only hope that the boy would realise it or… _don’t even think about that._ He inwardly grimaced, but his outward expression did not falter as the Dark Lord spoke of the Elder Wand. He did not need to protect the boy any longer; he could only hope that the war would end and that victory comes to the Order. That his actions had not been in vain.

Death was painful, but not quite as painful as life. Felled by his own curse and finished off by the living emblem of his own house. Perhaps death would be better than life was. Severus was barely still alive when Harry and his two friends entered his slowly blurring vision. Harry quickly dropped down in front of him and pressed his hand against his gaping wound, sliced and bitten, left in a bloody mess. His eyes were full of pain as he tried, in vain, to slow the bleeding. It was at that moment that he realised that, despite seven years believing him to be the just like his father, appearance and attitude-wise, he was actually…more like his mother.

More like Lily.

The green of his eyes and the sadness that dwelled within them, despite the man being the murderer of Albus Dumbledore and the man who tormented him for seven years, just for looking like his father, made his heart burn uncomfortably. The discomfort welled in his chest; an ache far worse than the physical blow to his throat. The painful reminder of Lily, stronger now than ever before, mixed thickly with the heavy realisation that he was so much like Lily. Brought up with guardians who treated him poorly. Yet here he was, not a trace of smirk or mirth at the Professor’s pain nor a trace of darkness or spite, something he knew well. He knew the boy hadn’t used any of his fame to his advantage nor had he grown bitter from his years of bad home life. The reality of the matter was that Severus had ignored the truth and chosen to instead cast him in the light of his father, because it was easier than living with yet more painful reminders of the one whose heart could never be his.

For the first time since he had held the lifeless body of Lily in his arms, he felt tears roll down his face as he asked the boy to take them. He had no energy to give him his memories, only the ability to cry over the mistakes he had made and the final release. It was the only way left to make him see what he had to do next, as wretched as that was. Given a choice, given any other choice, Severus wouldn’t have this boy march into his death. He knew Harry would do exactly that, for he was much like his mother. Proof in the scar; proof in the magic that kept Harry from dying. Her own death the sacrifice. He was sure Lily would stand in front of anyone who deserved it just to protect them from death.

“You have your mother’s eyes.”

Green eyes were the last thing he saw as darkness overcame him. He could have sworn he heard a whispered ‘thank you’ from a voice he had not heard in a long time before it went dark, but he couldn’t be sure. All he was sure about was…

It was finally over.

 

* * *

 

Severus opened his eyes and blinked, seeing a white sky-like apparition before his eyes. He felt grass underneath his hands and he was instantly struck by how odd this seemed. Was he not dead? He hadn’t really believed in an afterlife, or at least that there would be one for someone like him. While he had lived gruellingly for the past seventeen years protecting the son of the woman whose blood was on his hands, hoping to atone for his wrongs, it would never be enough. Never to him. She had died far before her time and had not deserved such a death, never. He had taken her for granted and had pushed her love away, and even though she had married the very person who caused him such misery during what was supposed to be the best years of his life (other people’s words, not his own), he could not fault her. To love was, perhaps, to look beyond faults and see only the good qualities. To forgive the misgivings. Like she had done him, with a different kind of love, of course. But love all the same. She had not cared about his poverty or his unfortunate looks. Where everyone else avoided him, she smiled at him and gave him what he had needed most. Until he had thrown it away and said the unforgivable.

So why was he here?

Severus sat up, looking around as he did so. It was all white, the only differences being the tones, differentiating the grass from the trees, the trees from the sky, the sky from the clouds and so on. It did not take long for Severus to realise where he was. The place he and Lily used to lie down and talk for hours on end. What was he doing here? Was this…really what the afterlife was like? Alone in life and alone in death, he thought bitterly.

“Not quite, Severus.”

A voice from somewhere behind him called out. One he had not heard in a little while. He stood up and turned around to see the Headmaster stood there, his blue eyes twinkling as they had done before he had retrieved the ring. Severus felt no emotions come to him at the sight of the man who was both a good friend and yet had brought so much anger to him.

“Albus…” Severus said, momentarily shocked to see him standing there. Albus smiled at him, though this time sadly and without the twinkle in his eyes.

“I’m terribly sorry, Severus. It was a great burden I put you under, but you followed my wishes anyway,” Albus said.

“Where are we? Some sort of afterlife?” Severus asked. “It is very… _white_.”

“Where are we indeed. I believe, if I am not much mistaken, we are in a place close to your heart,” Albus replied. Severus narrowed his eyes.

“Yes, I realise what it looks like, but why, how…?” Severus asked.

“There is a reason you are here, Severus. I am afraid I must ask yet another task of you. One you might, however, find to your advantage,” Albus said. Severus furrowed his brow. Was he not free even in death? Could he not rest? The war was surely to be won, should the boy succeed. Should the Order finish off Voldemort in time. Despite everything, he had great faith in Harry; he had proven himself over the years to be resilient, if reckless and stupid for the most part, and had gotten through so much more than the average person his age possibly could.

“The war will be over, I am dead…what more could you ask of me, Albus? You know better than anyone the only reason I remained in your service after-after…” Severus stumbled. What happened to his stoicism? What happened to his careful shield? Those green eyes. His care for the Professor he hated. Lily’s son. He doubted Lily would have left him to die, no matter what he had called her…no matter the path he had taken. Perhaps he would have gone deeper into the darkness and become more of a monster, had Lily not shown him that there was one person who accepted him.

“All is not well, Severus. Harry died, yes, and he returned to Hogwarts, no longer a horcrux. However, even after he has been stripped of his horcruxes, Tom cannot be killed,” Albus stated. Severus frowned at the Headmaster. How was that possible? All…seven…horcruxes should be gone, leaving the Dark Lord vulnerable. His eyebrows rose.

“You do not think he created another?” Severus asked, calmly. “If Harry cannot sense them anymore, then it would be more difficult to find out what and how many.”

“That is what I fear. We had the advantage before, but I am afraid with such a set back…should Harry be killed for good, along with his two friends…there will be no knowledge of horcruxes and it will perhaps be the downfall of the wizarding world as we know it,” Albus said.

“Then…what do you suggest?” Severus asked, slowly.

“Now, here is the fascinating part. You see, most people who have made mistakes, particularly ones which were devastating, that they have come to regret wish they could turn back time. Sadly, the things we say and do cannot be undone. We can only wish to make up for what has transpired. However, it so happens that a stroke of luck has finally befallen you, Severus. By some power I cannot begin to understand, you are here in the echoes of your past to be given a chance to return to a point in your past and perhaps fix your mistakes. But, you will also be charged with the task of making sure Tom’s horcruxes are destroyed and that he is taken down before all of the horror from this lifetime does not happen again,” Albus said.

Severus narrowed his eyes. “Return…to my past?” Severus asked, hardly believing such a thing was possible.

“Yes, you would be your teenage self again, with all of the knowledge you have retained over these 38 years. You could become friends with Lily again,” Albus said cheerfully, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. Severus gave him something akin to a smirk or a grimace.

“I would not dare to dream, Albus. To dream is to disappoint,” Severus said, bitterly.

“Well, Severus, you have but two choices: return to your past or move onto the next life,” Albus said, simply. Severus smirked, bitterly.

“There never really was a choice, Albus, let alone two. Very well. I will return. How do I do that?” Severus asked.

“You do not need to do anything, Severus. I bid you farewell and the best of luck,” Albus said.

“Albus, one question…changing time is a delicate matter. One small change could stop someone being born…” Severus said. Albus smiled in a way that infuriated him; he knew what was coming.

“You pretend like you do not care for the boy, Severus, but I think you do. Alas, that is something we cannot predict. You can be assured that Harry would not care, so long as his parents are alive and well,” Albus said. “Much like his mother.”

“…” Severus said nothing, but he did not have to. The sorrowful expression on his face said it all.

 

 

 


	2. So it starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus wakes up a teenager again and goes in pursuit of the one horcrux he knows he can easily get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Sorry for the late update, I haven't abandoned this, just a lot of muse problems. I realised how short it was and decided it had to be extended. Here I thought it had been long, but it was probably just longer in comparison to my old stuff on FF.net. Dear God. xD So anyone who is familiar with this from reading on FF.net, it's not exactly the same. A good portion is, but there's some new stuff too.
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and thanks to **Fernanda** (wonderful! Good thing you found it here, since it's easier to just start afresh here) and **Joseph** (I'm not fond of them either. They call themselves good, yet bully people like Severus. I could never forgive James for bullying Severus and then go date James, if I were Lily, and wow I didn't even click to that. I never liked Sirius. Never really knew what the fuss was about) for your comments! They make me happy. :D
> 
> Just a note: Just because I don't like James or Sirius much, doesn't mean I'll bash them here. I've seen fics that do that to an extreme and nahh not good. I'll handle them as best I can. :)
> 
> Enjoy!

Severus woke up slowly, which was unusual for him, his eyes opening and quickly darting around him as he realised where he was and remembered… _everything_. Was he really a teenager again? He groaned at the thought; by no means were his childhood or his adult years any better, but at least the latter gave him a certain amount of magical freedom. He quickly sat up and left his bed, walking quietly to the bathroom as his housemates slept on and walked up to the mirror. It was indeed true; he looked into the mirror at the pale, thin and quite frankly unattractive face that looked back at him. His black eyes stared back at him; black and uninviting. His hair long, black and greasy. Thoughts he had not dwelled on in such a long time entered his mind.  _Potter or no, you stand no chance_.

He heaved a sigh; there was nothing he could do, as he had chosen to come back to this time in order to fix his mistakes. Whether he had a chance with Lily or not, was not important in comparison to the lives he had to save. He grimaced; how did Albus expect him to do this when  _he wasn’t the hero type._  Could he tell Potter and pile it onto him?  _No._  That idiot wouldn’t believe him and would attempt to hex him into the next life. He scoffed; that was a laugh. This  _was_ his next life, no matter how fucked up that was. He quickly changed and left the bathroom, taking his bag and swiftly exiting the dungeons, making his way to the Great Hall with a grace he had only started showing sometime in his adult years.

Severus entered the hall and walked to the right side of the room, sitting down on a bench at the house table. He knew at least one of his 'friends' would have a Daily Prophet arriving, as they enjoyed seeing if there were any deaths reported. Frankly he had never once liked this hobby of theirs, even if he  _had_  been striving to join the Death Eaters, solely out of need for power and recognition. His priorities had been much misplaced. He sighed inwardly and started reading one of his text books absently. This was going to be a long ride; one full of misery, hurt and a lot of guilt. Guilt for his past teenage life and guilt for his former adult life. His attention was taken away from the dull text he had been reading by voices from the Entrance Hall, which was not far from the Great Hall. No one was in the Great Hall yet, simply because it was so damned  _early_ and few people got up at 6am. Still, the voices were quite loud for people who seemed to want to speak alone.

"Pettigrew, do you have anything?" A voice asked. Avery. Severus could recognise the thick drawl of his even after so long of not hearing it.

"Ah-ah, no, no-not yet. There's nothing really interesting going on right now…" Peter said. Ah, so the boy had started his betrayal this early? Though, how early  _this early_  was, he had yet to determine. Severus managed to contain the urge to go and strangle the boy, but then, how was Severus any better than Pettigrew? Maybe the boy could be convinced to be otherwise. Oddly, Pettigrew’s thirst for power, recognition and his cowardice far outshone his own,  _former_ , desires.

"Come on, you little rat. You've not proven yourself useful yet,  _at all_. Are you really wanting to side with us or are you…trying to  _spy_ on us?" Avery asked. Severus quietly put his book away and disillusioned himself, thinking it best to steer clear. After all, he had never known Pettigrew had been a traitor until it was too late. His heart beat faster; had Severus himself not been the cause of her death…this boy would have been it. He calmed himself, remembering that he himself had been given a second chance. He had spent a great deal of seventeen years, cold and closed off with minimal outward displays of emotion. It should be an easy task for him to remain calm, though it appeared his under-grown, hormonal body was going to make it a little more challenging. He stood up quietly, casting a  _muffliato_ around himself and left the hall. He would find out what date it was another way.

He made his way up some stairs and through the hallways, taking off the disillusionment spell and walking in his rather elegant gait. Once upon a time he had slouched and skulked, but his many years as a Professor, one rather feared, had given him a particular way of holding himself. He had no one bullying him; sure, he imagined there was mockery behind his back, but to his face…few dared to. Did he enjoy scaring students? Well, there was a certain bonus. Students generally behaved in his classes and gave him his much-needed space. He found the floor he was looking for and the desired painting. It was a rather large clock and calendar, a strange portrait in and of itself, and Severus had never really needed such a portrait, but Hogwarts was full of unusual things. Today, he was grateful for it. He peered at it, as it always showed the day's date and time.

 _3rd April, 1977. 6:34am._ So it was late in their sixth year, but not quite exam time. Then the Incident had occurred and his friendship with Lily was void. He did not have to wonder why he had not been brought back to before this. The reason was simple; she had seen the ugly side of him, the side that spat out a profanity he never meant, though she didn't know truth was not in his words that day. Nor was it ever true. If he proved himself to be different to what she thought he was now, then there would be no doubt in her mind. Before the Incident, there had been a growing doubt, even if she didn't want to admit it. No, this would be a chance to make up for what he did and prove to her he cared for her and wasn't like the other Slytherins.

Though…

He turned from the portrait and made his way back downstairs, wondering whether it was really a good idea. Lily might have died in his original lifetime, but she had probably been happy. Should he really try and becomes friends with her again, possibly ruining what good she would have had without him? What if she still chose Potter; could he stomach that? Sure, he was willing to put his task over securing her love first, and he was happy for her to just be alive and happy, but it was far more difficult to deal with upfront. It was truly difficult for him; he had always had a drive in his adult years; protect Harry, Lily’s son, above all costs. It was his only reason for living.

_You are a braver man by far than Igor Karkaroff. You know, I sometimes think we Sort too soon…_

Severus slowed down, stopping where he was. He felt a pang of emotion hit him in the stomach, remembering back to when Albus had said that. He had always wanted recognition and to lift himself out of the poor, wretched background he had come from and yearned for greatness, to show people he was better than they thought. In the end, he was too late to realise what he truly wanted. Now, he had the chance to get what he truly wanted, but perhaps Severus had changed over the years. Perhaps…he was not so selfish as his housemates. He wanted so badly to have her back in his life and yet, he did not know how to go about such a feat.

He had spent so many years living to protect, living to serve someone else's whims and wishes, that the idea of doing something for  _himself_ was a strange notion. It hurt, truly. It hurt emotionally and physically; his whole life had been full of hurt and the only reason he could cast a Patronus, the  _only_  reason he had something to conjure one with, was because of his love for Lily. It wasn’t simply a happy memory; it was just, memory and one of love. Where all hope and happiness was gone, one tiny flicker of love remained, keeping him alive until he was no longer needed. His love took the shape of a doe; a representation of Lily and proof that she would never be his. She was the doe to Potter’s stag and there was little he could do about that.

Taking himself out of his inner conflict, stopping himself going down that route to further self-loathing where he just might end up in a corner, all of his emotion leaking out in a pathetic manner, he changed his direction. He carried on upstairs, up towards the seventh floor where there was something of use to him. The Room of Requirement. Draco had once talked of a room for hiding things inside and Severus also knew of the horcruxes…he had an inkling as to  _why_ he suddenly knew of them.  _Albus must have given me the knowledge as I was brought back here…how else would it be beneficial for him to send me back? I am highly skilled, we know each other well and I am good at fooling people…give me the knowledge of horcruxes and it is the perfect plan._ Severus inwardly scowled; the old man had more tricks up his sleeve than Peeves and the Weasley twins put together.

He made his way up to the seventh floor and found the place where it was supposed to be. So…he just had to walk by it and want a room that hid items? He concentrated hard and paced up and down, before hearing the sound of a door appearing. Once it materialised fully, he opened the door and walked inside, his wand out to be certain no one was hiding. The place was full of broomsticks, books, furniture of all kinds. So much so that it was amazing Harry had even found the horcrux in here at all; though if any two houses had the gift of sneaking around and nosiness, it was Gryffindor and Slytherin. Even he, who had favoured Slytherin for the past seventeen years he had been teaching, knew the lengths and talents his own house possessed. He crept through the room, between the large mounds of junk, searching for something. Having a good knowledge and skill with the Dark Arts, he knew it was in here, implanted knowledge or not.

He turned on the spot slowly, his eyes resting on a small wooden box. He crept towards it and checked it for any enchantments, before carefully opening it and spotting what appeared to be Ravenclaw's Diadem. After some careful probing, he transfigured something useless into a jar and levitated the horcrux into it, placing various protective and containing charms onto it. He could not be certain that it was safe to touch; remembering the blackness of Albus' hand after he put on the ring made him careful not to touch these items, lest his second chance be wasted. When the diadem was securely in the jar, he placed it into his bag and left the room quickly, walking down the corridor with the sound of the door disappearing behind him.

_One down…four to go._

* * *

 

Honestly, Severus wasn’t sure  _where_  to hide the horcrux, but he didn’t want it staying in the Room of Requirement either, just in case one lucky student managed to stumble across it before its time. Theoretically, it wouldn’t, considering it presumably hadn’t happened in his original lifetime, but then what if just the tiniest change changed a lot of things? He wouldn’t take any chances. Careful by nature, he would keep it safe and on him for now. He had no other choice; there was no way he would leave it in his dormitory either. He didn’t trust them not to go through his things and find it, which would be a very bad thing.

Not only would it put him in danger, but everyone else too. He balled his fists; when had he become such a Gryffindor? So selfless, so…thinking about other people before himself. Before this, he had only thought about himself and the one person he cared about. Lily Evans. She had been his whole reason for living, back when he was being a double agent. When Lily died, he wanted to die too, in fact, he had. What had been left was an empty shell, forced to do Albus’ bidding because it was  _the right thing to do_. Because it was  _for Lily_. The old man knew how to play people and move his chess pieces across the board.

He wandered around the castle a little and stopped when he heard voices. James and Sirius, the two he hated most in this school. Severus stayed around the corner out of the way and listened to them talking to two girls.  _So in love with Lily are you that you would chat up others in the mean time?_ Severus never understood that way of thinking. If you loved someone, surely you stayed away from other girls and showed that girl how much you liked them? Not that he had ever told Lily and she wouldn’t believe him after what had happened. The one thing good in his life and he ruined it. He turned around and walked back the way he came. He didn’t want any trouble from them and he knew they would never grow up and out of their cruelty. Of course, Severus knew he was no saint; he himself had treated his students poorly, particularly Harry. However, he never pretended to be good and noble as James and Sirius did.

They hid behind the so-called glories of Gryffindor, proudly proclaiming to be honourable people and yet, they were no better than those in his own house. The world was full of awful people, he was one of them and those two were as well. Lily and even Harry were two of the kindest, most compassionate people anyone would ever meet and yet, neither could exist in the same time frame. Not if he…

He was far from the two bullies and felt himself lean back against a wall, a heavy and uncomfortable feeling against his heart. Severus felt the sting of tears and cursed his weakness. Why? Why was he feeling these things? He had hidden his heart so long ago that he could not remember what happiness felt like. He felt sick. He felt like he would throw up, but he hadn’t eaten anything. Then he saw someone he didn’t expect to see and…wasn’t ready to see.

Lily Evans.

And she had to see him like this.

He immediately pushed away from the wall and shuffled past her, not wanting to face whatever rejection she might give him.

“Severus,” Lily said. Her voice didn’t sound scolding, but he wasn’t taking any chances. “Severus, wait.”

He stopped. He didn’t know why, but he stopped and looked back at her, trying to wipe away the tears gracefully, but there was nothing graceful about tears. Severus had admonished students for such pathetic shows. He heard her stepping closer to him as he had turned back to wipe them away and he felt her hand on his arm, turning him to face her. Severus looked down at her. She still had some growing to do…she was not nearly this small when she…

He felt his lips wobble again.

Her face…it was full of compassion and Severus found himself brought into a hug. What was this? What? Was this a dream? Oh, Merlin, it was a dream. Maybe he should just take what he could. Even if it was a dream, it didn’t matter. Normally in dreamworld she hated him.

“I’m still angry, Severus, and upset. What you did…but I can’t see someone upset. Whatever’s bothering you, I hope it goes away soon,” Lily said. It wasn’t helping the tears. It really wasn’t. It made him feel even more wretched. Severus shouldn’t exist. He was hunched over a little (not much new there), since she had her head next to his. He was too afraid to put his hands on her back, scared that she would disappear.

He shuddered and pulled back, hands awkwardly on her shoulders, looking distressed.

“I’m sorry, I-I’ve got to go…I can’t…” Severus said, swallowing. “I don’t deserve this.”

He ran, because he had to. If he stayed, it would all come out and she wouldn’t believe him. He said a few more ‘sorry’s as he left, finding an isolated room that he could hide inside and calm down. Lily…she was far too kind. He couldn’t stand it. He didn’t deserve it. Severus slid down the wall, onto the floor. He held his face in his hands and tried to calm himself down. Severus had never been much of a crier. Once after he lost Lily, once after she died and the tears as he died. Not even the cruelty of his father or the Marauders had brought on such an emotion. Severus didn’t know how much more he could take.

The idea of Lily feeling compassion towards him despite what he had done…but it was not surprising. Her love, her compassion, had killed her in the end. Her sacrifice had saved Harry’s life. Her sacrifice only possible because he had begged  _him_  to spare her. Severus was a vile person and there was no one he hated more than himself. Severus brought his potions kit out of his bag, needing a calming draught of some kind and he pulled it out, before seeing another bottle inside. How easy it would be to drink that and finally be at peace.

But Albus needed him.

Severus took the calming draught and breathed in deeply.

He needed to get it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lily and Sev interacting was never in the original chapter, but it just came to me as I was writing it. I hope it's not too soon. They do still have a way to go...I won't be rushing their relationship.
> 
> Have a lovely day!


	3. Saving the tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only a few days into this new start and Severus has already had to change some history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> I'm so so so sorry for the late update, it's been an awful amount of time since the last one and I wish it hadn't taken me this long. 
> 
> Anyone who read this fic on ff.net will notice that this is chapters 3 and 4 in one, plus a little editing and additions. Not a great deal, but yeah. 
> 
> Hopefully you'll enjoy!

_5th April, 1977._ Severus sat at breakfast wondering what this day meant. The date was rather familiar in his mind, but given his lack of photographic memory and some twenty-one years since the last time it was this date, Severus was at a loss as to what it was. Generally his memory was brilliant, but this would take some time to recall. He ate his breakfast slowly, looking down the Gryffindor table for signs of Lily. His eyes were immediately drawn to the entrance to the Great Hall, where she walked inside talking to her friend. He heard a little noise beside him and turned just in time to see a spell muttered and it flew towards Lily. He watched as Lily moved in time to avoid it, but fell over in her rush to avoid the spell and, much to his chagrin, James Potter came out and caught her. He watched their little moment of awkwardness with a sudden feeling.

Though this time it was not hatred, grief and envy, as it was in his original time. No, this time it was a sense of déjà vu. He remembered this day; that exact moment and why today was important.

_Today was the day Lily lost her parents._

He remembered not seeing Lily at evening meal and the next morning hearing people's condolences to the grief-stricken redhead. It was the Death Eaters, he knew that well. Severus stood up and left the Great Hall, heading out of the castle altogether. He walked down towards the large gates that closed the castle off to Hogsmeade and smirked as he knew the exact spells that were on the castle, disabling them with the flick of his wrist, re-enabling them once he was out. Walking a little away from the gates, he spun and disapparated. He appeared in an alleyway and disillusioned himself before stepping out of it, heading towards a familiar house. He stood outside of the house; the car was not there, so Mr. Evans was currently out. Which meant that the attack would not be happening yet. He had time to formulate a plan. Of course, it would be best if he informed the Ministry, but they would not take too kindly to his skipping school and for just how he knew of this.

He would have to contact Albus.

_Of course._

Severus turned on the spot and apparated into the Evans' back garden. He would not have normally been so rude, but he was quite sure a Death Eater could be watching the house. He took off the disillusionment spell and knocked on the patio door. He waited patiently as he saw Mrs. Evans come to the patio door, looking rather perplexed. She opened it.

"Severus? What are you doing here?" She asked, weariness in her voice.

"I am sorry about this, Mrs. Evans, I would not have come, had it not been urgent. May I come in?" Severus asked. She gestured for him to enter and he thanked whatever seemed to be on his side at present for her good faith. She bustled through the kitchen.

"Would you like a drink?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"No, thank you, Mrs. Evans. Would you mind if we talked? I have something to discuss that is of utmost urgency," Severus said. Lily's mum nodded and Severus followed her into the living room, thankful that the blinds were drawn. He watched her walk towards the windows. "Mrs. Evans, please keep the blinds drawn…thank you." Severus noticed she was looking more and more surprised; he would have given anyone who messed him around in such a fashion a glare that could melt the sun, but he knew Lily's mum had more patience than him.

"Alright, Severus…what seems to be wrong? I am aware of what transpired between yourself and my daughter, don't think for a second I am happy with you for making my daughter cry," Mrs. Evans said, a little sternly. Severus swallowed. Twenty-one years and the guilt still had a hold on him.

"First of all, I am deeply sorry for what I did. Nothing in the world can change it nor make up for what I said. Lily…she means the world to me. But I was running too close with my housemates, believing that they could bring me something I thought I wanted, power and glory…coming from a household like mine, I wanted something  _better_  than that. However, losing Lily made me realise I had my priorities wrong," Severus said. She must have seen something in his expression, for hers softened.

"I understand, now what was it you wanted to tell me?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"I cannot divulge the reasons I know this, but you must trust me when I tell you that you and Mr. Evans are in danger. The dark wizards of our world plan to attack sometime after Mr. Evans returns home," Severus said. He watched as her eyes widened in shock, along with suspicion and fear. "We have enough time for you to pack anything important to you; we just need to get you and Mr. Evans out before Lily has to lose anyone else in her life."

"Well, from what Lily told me prior to your fallout, she told me you were sensible and sometimes too serious, so I will take you at your word. Even if it is a mistake, at least we would be safe rather than sorry," Mrs. Evans said, standing up. "How am I to pack all of our important things?" Severus stood up and brought out his wand.

"I believe I can assist you there," Severus said. Though Lily's parents had never been unkind to him, giving him no reason to be rude to them or distant, it still surprised him at how cordial he was being. He had spent a lot of his life protecting those Lily loves, it was second nature. At least her parents did not remind him of James Potter. His stomach clenched as he wondered whether she would still date him. His second chance had perhaps been one for him to make amends with Lily and pursue a relationship, should she even think of him that way, but he had lived his life of pain and of sorrow, never to let himself feel hope. Hope was a futile feeling, leading to despair when it is not met. He remembered his previous feelings of hope; remembering words from a powerful wordsmith,  _the miserable have no other medicine, but only hope_. He had a lot of hope in his first lifetime, even in the period before Lily's death. Hope that he would find her again, hope that maybe she would forgive him, hope that she would be safe…

Hope was fruitless.

"Do you have a bag?" Severus asked. They spent a good part of the hour packing everything worth a great deal to the Evans' into the bag that had a featherweight charm and an undetectable extension charm upon it. The house was left only with the larger furniture that was easily replaced. Now all he had to do was work out a way for the Aurors to try their hand at catching the Death Eaters, without raising suspicion to himself and giving good reason why they should trust him. Oh, but of course. Albus Dumbledore. A man he was hesitant to reveal his story to and yet a man who could quite easily assist him. Out of everyone he knew, Albus would believe him. He was going to have to speak to Albus today, one way or another.

"I need to get a message to Professor Dumbledore. Perhaps it would be better if I apparated you and your bag to Hogsmeade, I will send a message from there and we will leave your bag with someone we can trust. We will return here and wait for Mr. Evans," Severus said. He saw her nod, looking nervous. Severus walked forward, picking up her bag in one hand and offering her his other arm. "Take my arm and keep hold; this will feel strange."

Severus apparated to an alleyway in Hogsmeade, just to the side of the Three Broomsticks and he placed the bag down before looking at Lily's mum; surprise didn't begin to describe her expression. He let her arm go and gave her a moment to adjust. "Are you alright?" Severus asked, feeling concern for the woman who had always treated him with kindness. She nodded.

"Y-yes, that was…you wizards and witches travel this way?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"Within reason; there are some restrictions, such as Hogwarts and the Ministry. Anti-apparation charms keep people from apparating inside and out of them to ensure safety," Severus explained. Severus picked the bag up again and took Mrs. Evans' arm before leading her out of the alleyway.

"Such a large castle, the people here have such a spectacular view," Mrs. Evans said. "It looks as though it could fall apart any minute, though. Is it safe?"

"There are many wards upon the castle; that is Hogwarts, our school. Muggles only see a castle that looks far too dangerous and rickety to venture into," Severus said. "Even if a muggle should find their way here, even if they dared to venture inside, they would be barred from entry and would go away not realising they had tried, with a distinct impression that they should leave. I assure you it is safe for us students."

Severus felt the need to reassure her, simply because he knew how much mothers like Lily's would worry about their safety, especially not being magical and understanding the fundamentals. Having had no experience with raising children himself, only the teaching of them, he could not truly understand this. He thought it unlikely that this particular notion would change.

 

* * *

 

Severus sat in front of Albus Dumbledore's desk; it was an unsurprising outcome. He knew he would end up here sooner or later, though he had been hoping for the latter. He was alone for the time being, listening to the faint whirring of the many odd instruments that filled the office. An office he was very familiar with. Severus did not have to wait long as he heard the door to the office open and he was soon facing the Headmaster, sitting down and placing his chin upon clasped hands. Studying him, no doubt. Severus sat there staring steadily back at him.

"Well, Mr. Snape, I would be lying if I were to say that I am not at all surprised and puzzled by this turn of events," Albus said. Severus listened; he knew the Headmaster was not finished speaking. "Leaving school to prevent a tragedy from happening is indeed a serious matter, so you can understand that I have a few questions." Severus nodded, well aware of this fact.

"First of all I want to know how you knew Mr. and Mrs. Evans were going to be targeted. Of course, the fact that you were correct in your actions is nothing short of fantastic, but it puzzles me as to  _how_  you came about this knowledge," Albus said. Severus sat a little forward in his chair.

"I fear, Professor Dumbledore, that you would not believe me, even if I told you," Severus said, though this wasn't exactly the complete truth.

"You'll find, my dear boy, that I am far more understanding and open to share with than you might expect," Albus said.

"Very well. Where to start, exactly. You see, Professor, I am not quite what I appear to be. While in appearance I am 17-years-old, mentally I am about thirty-eight years old," Severus explained. Albus' eyebrows rose curiously and he beckoned for him to explain further. "In my thirty-eighth year, my life ended and then I was given a chance to return to this time and… _correct_  certain mistakes I made, to stop certain events from becoming worse…that is to say, the future is, as you might imagine, not a particularly good one. Our efforts to stop the war went well, however…there was an unexpected hiccough, which would have led to an unpredictable end."

Severus saw Albus take all of the information in, at least, the summarised version he gave him. He planned to discuss in greater length, of course, once the initial discussion was over.

"That is quite a story. I have seen many things in my time—shocking—things, but this is quite something," Albus said. Severus waited patiently for what he would say next, as the wizened old man sat their pondering, as he was wont to do. Severus was well aware of the man's many quirks; despite his rather unsociable nature, he had somewhat befriended the old man in his past life. Of course, there was bitterness in his memory of the Headmaster and the part he had Severus play, but Severus also knew that in war, some ends justified the means. There had been nothing else in his life.

"Given your frightfully accurate knowledge of today's events, I am inclined to believe your story," Albus said.

"You will receive sufficient amount of evidence via the pensieve, as I will need to divulge some necessary information in order to prevent as much tragedy as possible," Severus said.

Albus studied him for a moment, peering over his half-moon spectacles at the Slytherin before him, one so intent on changing the way the world was going. Ambitious, and also brave. Albus nodded his head. "I would advise you not to do too much by yourself; not because you are incapable, but due to your apparent age," Albus said.

"Of course. As infuriating as it might be, I do realise the possible repercussions of such acts at my current physical age," Severus said. He didn’t particularly like the idea; being so restricted by his physical age was something he hadn’t experienced for many years. He was, however, very used to being restricted and trapped in some way or another. Be it in an abusive home, a dangerous house group, an evil dark wizard group or to the service of the very man he sat before.

Albus nodded. He sat back a little in his chair. "Please continue, Mr. Snape. I am sure we have a lot to discuss and although knowing the future is indeed not something to be treated lightly, I must know what is vital to stop the war," Albus said.

Severus began the long explanation, the first war, the prophecy, the Dark Lord's downfall, his place within this, Harry, the second war, the horcruxes…Severus did not for one minute even think of sugar-coating his own failings, for he was responsible for Lily and James' deaths, along with bearing witness to a lot of horrendous acts upon muggles and their magical offspring. It was something that haunted him even to this day, casting his sleep with nightmares, giving him a frequent need for sleeping draughts.

_Severus! Help me!_

_Severus…please…please…_

He inwardly shuddered as that memory stood out at him; they hadn’t been particularly close, but Charity Burbage had been quite friendly with him. In fact, she was in the same year and she had shown some kindness to him before the end of their fifth year. He hadn’t really spoken to her since before the incident. She had remained kind to him when they re-acquainted themselves when she joined the staff team. Severus had been polite and indulged in her chatter, but hadn’t really cared for it much.

Maybe…there was more to start afresh than he had anticipated.

Albus had listened intently, never once interrupting his speech and remained patient when he took some time to formulate his words. Severus knew that any questions the old man would have, he would ask after Severus was finished. Severus was glad for this; he had spent seventeen years teaching and he did not care for interruptions.

"Right now, there should be five horcruxes currently in existence, one I have already obtained from the Room of Requirement," Severus said. "The others will be much more difficult to obtain."

Albus sat back in his chair, deep in thought for a moment before speaking. "Dark magic indeed, but none too surprising. We must without a doubt proceed with caution. Should he find out what we are up to, it could lead to disastrous results," Albus said. "What items have been turned into horcruxes?"

Severus nodded. "The horcrux I already found is Ravenclaw's diadem, the other four include Gaunt's ring, Hufflepuff's cup, Slytherin's locket and _his_ diary," Severus replied. "A word of warning, should you retrieve the ring, that you do not put it upon your finger, lest the future come too early."

Albus nodded. "I will bear that in mind," Albus said.

After speaking for another hour, with Severus giving Albus a vial of important memories the headmaster would need, Severus left the office and headed back to his dormitory, decidedly tired. All in all, he was glad that Albus knew what he did now and that the burden wasn’t quite as heavy on his shoulders. However, even with two intelligent and skillful wizards working together to retrieve the items and bring Voldemort to his end, it wasn’t going to be easy. This, in itself, made him feel as old as he really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "the miserable have no other medicine, but only hope." A quote from Shakespeare's Measure for Measure.


	4. The butterfly effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watching James and Lily getting on now is almost unbearable...Severus struggles between what he wants and what is "right". However, it's not quite that simple and he realises that even the littlest of changes are big.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos, they mean a lot to me. <3 
> 
> I'm up to where I left off on FF.net, so after this, new stuff. Woo! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Severus had not seen Lily the day after he had taken her parents out of their home, but he knew she would be with them, in Hogsmeade. It was by far too dangerous for them to return home and they were staying in the Three Broomsticks with a couple of Aurors there for their protection. He had told Albus and the Evans' to keep his involvement out of it; he would talk to Lily of his own accord. When it did not seem as if he were only doing these things in order to win her friendship back, as he knew some people would accuse him of. If Lily forgave him at all, he thought bitterly. Severus could not shake the resentment he held for James, who had received her forgiveness, despite everything he had done. Would Severus have received forgiveness if he had kept trying to get it? He did not know; he had given up and allowed himself to be dragged further into the bad crowd.

A few days later came Hogsmeade weekend and apparently James had asked her to go to Hogsmeade with him the day before and she had accepted. Severus felt the bitterness creep back into him and he left the Slytherin dormitories quietly, making his way to the Entrance Hall where the group going to Hogsmeade gathered. Would he stop them? Would he let history repeat itself, or rather, go its natural course? Severus needed to speak to her, to see if there was a chance to be friends again. Preferably  _before_  James spoke to her. In the hall, he spotted the familiar redhead near the front with her friends, chatting and laughing away. The corner of Severus' mouth twitched, but he did not quite smile. He was…happy for her. Severus had lived so long, for her, for her son, for everyone else…he had become accustomed to the notion of selflessness. A trait Gryffindor held dear and Slytherin scoffed at. At least, in his mind. His house tended towards self-preservation, doing things in their own best interests.

Severus watched Lily as she spoke with her friends. He had once been that way himself, hurt so much that he was afraid of being hurt again, so he recoiled and looked out for himself. But in doing so, he hurt worse. He hurt her. Knowing that, Severus had wanted to curse himself. Lily had died, and it was his fault. All his fault; because she was right.

She was  _always_ right.

He watched James and his friends join them, which made him feel the bitterness that had lined his heart for more years than he cared to remember. Severus merely followed the group down to Hogsmeade, much further behind, unnoticed. For now, he would have to watch from the sidelines. Old habits die hard. Once at Hogsmeade, Severus was at a loss of what to do with himself; he had not been to Hogsmeade on a weekend trip since his original fifth year and it had been with Lily. Now he was here, skulking alone. He sighed, following them from a distance. Severus wanted to get her alone, but he wasn't sure he would be able to without the others knowing. A confrontation between him and the Marauders…Severus had managed to avoid it so far in this new life and it appeared today would be make or break for him. He had to be brave.

_I sometimes think we Sort too soon…_

Severus grimaced. Albus had a way of using words in a way to get just the right reaction and response from the receiver. What he was doing now, in this life, was possibly warrant for the description of 'noble', but a lot of it was for  _her_. Somewhat. What he was doing would perhaps even prevent Lily and James becoming the couple they were, preventing Harry Potter from existing. But, potentially, Harry would not be born regardless; just a little change could change everything, and…Harry died in the future, despite everything. He remembered the rage he had felt when Albus had told him that Harry had to die. All of his life's work for nothing. Severus had been played.

Severus was taken out of his thoughts by the voices up ahead.

"Hey Prongs, let's go to Zonko's," Sirius said.

"Sure, hold on," James said with a grin. He looked at Lily, his grin becoming goofy. "Lily, after we visit Zonko's, do you, uh, fancy a drink at the Three Broomsticks?" Severus felt his chest tighten a little; was this the moment? Should he…but it was a simple drink. Severus wasn't even  _friends_ with Lily anymore; he shouldn't be thinking  _that_ far ahead. Why would she date him when she could date  _James Potter_? Severus scowled, his once hopeful mood turned to bitter resentment. His  _second chance_ indeed. To relive his life, miserable and alone, once again. Oh, how he relished the very thought. Another one of Albus' plots and he was once again stuck with it. Fallen for a classic case of manipulation from the wizened old headmaster.

Severus clenched his fists, angry with himself. Pain and misery was worth it to see her alive. It was simply astounding he kept such sentimentality after so many years, such that he had not felt since his original teenage years. Severus was reminded of that damned Lockhart and his Valentine's festivities, a day he could not stomach, especially that year. Each year he would stay in his quarters for as long as he possibly could. He was not entirely sure whether he would appreciate the holiday more if he had someone he would want to share it with by his side. Perhaps.

"Sure, we'll go to Tomes and Scrolls, then we'll meet you guys at the Three Broomsticks for drinks," Lily said, smiling. She turned and the girls went off their way. Lily was oblivious to the slightly disappointed expression on James's face, but Severus could not hide a small smirk. The smirk faded when James noticed him.

"What are you smirking at, Snape?" James asked sharply. Severus was unabashed at being caught gawking.

"Nothing particularly interesting, Potter. Although it might interest you to know that Lily is by all means not one to care for selfish people. Surely merely spending time with her, even in a group situation, is enough?" Severus drawled.

"Mind your own business, Sni-Snape. Why don't you go back to doing what you usually do with your Death Eater friends," James spat. Severus shook his head and went to turn and walk away when an explosion stole their attention. Severus whipped around and saw the smoke coming from Tomes and Scrolls, laced with the screams as students ran out of the building in terror.

The Marauders were already running whilst Severus’ mind whirled. He shook himself and ran after them, suddenly and painfully aware that Lily had been in there. However, he found himself almost crashing into the back of Sirius as the group had stopped abruptly. Severus noticed the black shapes that had started milling around, apparating in and surrounding the area. Death Eaters. James and Sirius dodged a few curses, and another explosion sent them all running in different directions to escape from it. When Severus stopped to figure out where he was now, he realised it was just him and James in the alleyway. Severus watched the other boy point his wand at him.

"Was this your doing, Snape? You and your filthy friends? Well?" James spat. Severus straightened up and shook his head.

"No, I-," Severus started before James interrupted him.

"Shut up! Stop telling lies!" James hissed.

James was clearly about to hex Severus before James' wand flew out of his hand and he turned to see a Death Eater heading towards them, wand raised and Severus quickly used Legilimency on the Death Eater to find his mind so obviously without protection. Using this, Severus quickly sent a  _Sectumsempra_ at the threatening figure before he could cast his own Unforgivable at either of them, though he knew James was the target rather than himself. Severus was still very much in the good books with his housemates. He and James watched as the figure fell to the floor with a gasp of pain, blood undoubtedly pooling on his chest. It was not a fatal blow, but enough to give Severus time to bind the Death Eater with ropes.

"What the-?" James started.

"No time. Now, Potter, if you would please focus and put what duelling skills you have to good practice, go and find Lily and her friends, I will deal with the other one who will follow shortly," Severus said calmly, only the years of experience stopping him from losing his cool.

He watched as his long-time enemy, current sort-of ally nodded shakily and ran off after accio-ing his wand. Severus turned as the other Death Eater ran down the alleyway, wand raised. It was clear that the second one realised that the Slytherin before him was treacherous. Severus deftly blocked the curse before sending his own curse, falling into a heated duel before he finally caught the man's shoulder and bound him with ropes too. Severus quickly obliviated himself from both agents' minds after making them both lose consciousness. The longer he kept 'loyal' to the Slytherin elitists, the better.

Severus ran out of the alleyway and saw the chaos occurring in the main street, students battling Death Eaters and already a few injuries. Albus was nowhere to be seen; he wouldn't be, not unless he gets a message soon. Severus spotted something coming from an alleyway and carefully made his way over, glancing in to spot a Death Eater send a hawk Patronus off before running out of the alleyway from the other end. Severus narrowed his eyes. Then memories flashed before his eyes and he knew that the Patronus was heading to Albus.

He turned back towards the fight and decided to help from the shadows, blocking fatal curses towards students and send curses in different directions as he had learnt to do. Hopefully this time he wouldn't maim an ally; he had only done so to protect Lupin, but the Weasley twin had sadly gotten caught in the crossfire. At least it was only an ear. Severus had no idea who had lived and died through that battle, though he suspected with Harry's death, the casualties were likely to have been great. He swallowed painfully; the boy he had protected had died. He had been a horcrux and he'd had to sacrifice himself. Undoubtedly Harry had done so quite willingly; he was Lily's son, after all.

Severus made his way further up the street, disillusioned and silenced, throwing curses and hexes around, cold dread in his veins. None of the students had died yet, which was a miracle. But the cynic in him wondered how long that would last. His attention was directed to familiar voices.

"Lily, get to safety, I will-," James said.

"No, James! I'm not running away like some damsel in distress! If you think that's the type of person I am, I-," Lily's angry tone travelled quite far.

"I'm not saying that, I-ah, nevermind," James muttered. There was another explosion that forced Severus to narrow his eyes in all of the dust. He could feel the panic swell up within him as he moved carefully, but with as much haste as he could, through the dust cloud.

" _Stupefy!_ " He could hear shouted somewhere in front of him, along with a series of other spells.

" _Impedimenta!_ "

" _Flipendo Tria!_ "

Severus got out of the cloud only to see Lily being pushed violently backwards into a wall with a resounding  _thud_ , causing the dismantled bricks to fall on top of her. For once, Severus abandoned all caution and ran towards her, kneeling down to start moving the rubble out of the way, fear running through him like sharp knives. Severus feared very little in life; that moment when he realised Voldemort meant to kill him, he did not fear what was coming. Only that Harry had not been told an important piece of information. Severus had never feared being caught in his position as a Double Agent. He never really feared even Voldemort himself.

No, his fear had always been losing Lily and after he had…well, he had nightmares of her telling him she despised him, hated him for being the cause of her death and for Harry growing up without parents, her missing his whole life. Though really, he did not even  _need_  to fear such a thing; he already held the guilt of such things on his shoulders. Severus hoped against hope that his fear would not become reality once again, especially when his digging revealed a rather limp arm. He worked faster, shaking a little. He could hear James continuing duelling the Death Eater, his attacks becoming far angrier. Panic rose within him, an emotion that was rare for him.

Severus finally removed all of the rubble to find an unconscious and very still Lily. He pulled her gently into his arms and held her, quickly putting his fingers to her neck, feeling for a pulse. It was faint and he could see a rather alarming gash in her head, dying her orangey-red hair crimson as it flowed. Severus brought out his wand and started murmuring his healing spell over and over again, horribly reminded of a familiar memory. Of holding her after he had found her dead in her home. Holding her lifeless body, unable to believe that the once vibrant, brilliant, utterly creative person he had fallen in love with was so lifeless now.

He found his eyes becoming watery as he held her, trying with all of his might to heal her. The wound slowly disappeared and Severus lowered her down to the ground gently before he reached into his robes and brought out a small box. He enlarged it and opened it, showing a vast collection of potions. He took one out and used his right arm to move under her shoulders again to sit her up before he helped her drink it. Severus watched as some colour returned to her skin and he put the bottle down, putting his fingers to her throat again. He sighed in relief as he noted that her pulse was stronger.

Severus then took out a small bottle of Essence of Dittany and applied a little to the faint mark where the wound had been. He put it away once it took effect and held her, forgetting for a moment that the battle was still raging.

“Snape, watch out!” James yelled.

He turned to see a Death Eater running towards him and James was doing all he could to fend off two Death Eaters at once already. Severus started to point his wand, but he needn’t have bothered as the Death Eater was blasted out of the way. Suddenly Aurors and members of the Order had appeared and the Death Eaters soon disapparated away. Severus was relieved as he hadn’t wanted to leave Lily to go and fight, but he didn’t want to leave these children to fend for themselves while he took Lily up to the Hospital Wing.

James ran over to him and looked at Lily with worry. “Is she alright?” James asked, forgetting his hatred for the Slytherin for the time being.

“She had lost some blood with a head wound, but I healed the wound and gave her some blood-replenishing potion,” Severus responded, surprisingly shaky.

James reached his hand out as if to stroke her hair, but seemed to think better of it. “Thanks, Snape. For before…you could have let the Death Eater kill me,” he said, a certain reluctance in his voice.

Severus shrugged, lifting Lily up as he stood up, his potions box back in his pocket. “Then we’re even,” Severus muttered.

James looked like he wanted to say more, but was interrupted by the arrival of Sirius and Remus. Odd that Peter Pettigrew was not there. Or, rather, not considering what he knew. He really needed to deal with that.

“Prongs, what on Earth are you doing with Snivellus?” Sirius asked.

“Sirius,” Remus said pointedly.

“What? He’s a Death Eater wannabe…he probably called them here today,” Sirius said with a scowl. “Get your hands off of Evans, Snivvy.”

“Sirius, just shut up,” James muttered, pulling his friend away. “Let’s go and help get everyone back up to the castle. Snape, take care of Lily…or else.”

Severus stood there taken aback. Of course, he didn’t think this was James Potter calling it quits on his hatred for him, but perhaps more like a truce, since he had saved the boy’s life _and_ the object of his affection. Honestly, the day James Potter became friends with him would be the day pigs flew. And not because he had thrown Sirius Black through the air either.

The Order and the older students helped the injured and the younger students back up to the school while the Aurors rounded up any unconscious/tied up Death Eaters. He started walking up there himself with Lily in his arms, knowing that the situation was under relative control and he needed to take her to the Hospital Wing to make sure she was alright. The idea of losing her this early had terrified him beyond recognition. Severus only hoped that things wouldn’t go further downhill. This attack had not happened the first time around.

He placed her onto a bed in the hospital wing and quickly told Madam Pomfrey all she needed to know before sitting down in a chair beside her. The nurse would attend to Lily after the more serious injuries were dealt with; Lily was stable and only in need of a check up from a qualified healer. He was sat there for a while before a familiar voice sounded near him.

“Mr. Snape, do you mind if I could talk to you in my office? I am sure Miss. Evans will be quite safe here,” Albus said.

Severus turned to him and nodded before he stood up and followed Albus to his office. Once there, he sat down opposite Albus and declined the offer of a sherbet lemon.

“That was quite a skirmish; am I to understand correctly that it did not occur in your original time?” Albus asked.

“It didn’t; otherwise I would have told you and we could have prevented it,” Severus said.

“What could have changed so much that this attack would occur, I wonder,” Albus said.

“The only things I can think of are the retrieval of the horcrux and saving Lily’s parents…” Severus said.

“The butterfly effect, though I doubt the horcrux would have made any difference. It would appear someone might have a grudge against Miss. Evans. After all, her parents are situated here in Hogsmeade…thankfully they are safe,” Albus said.

“Did we have any fatalities?” Severus asked, dreading the answer.

“Surprisingly, no. A few injuries, some emotional trauma, but no one actually died,” Albus said.

“It is good news, but quite surprising both the same,” Severus said.

“Indeed, but we will just count our blessings and keep our senses sharp,” Albus said. “Can you tell me what happened from the beginning?”

 

* * *

 

Lily's eyes fluttered open sometime later and she blinked a few times, her vision blurry at first. When her surroundings came into focus, she looked around to see her friends and James sat there. Lily tried to sit up and immediately her friend Lorelai reached out to help her.

"How are you feeling?" Lorelai asked.

"My head hurts, but that's to be expected," Lily said, giving her a smile. Lorelai smiled in return and looked up at James with a strange expression.

"You can tell us, you know. It won't end up badly," Lorelai smiled knowingly. Lily looked at her quizzically before looking at James, beckoning him to speak his mind. James sighed.

"Out there…in the attack…you were blasted into a wall, which crumbled down on top of you and-and I was just about to try and get you out when Snape got there first and frantically dug you out. I was stuck fighting a couple of Death Eaters, but he healed you and made sure you were alright…I don’t really want to believe it, but…I think he actually does care about you," James said, helplessly.

Lily listened patiently and her eyes widened, feelings of shock, pain and warmth all filling her. James had hated Severus…him admitting such a thing had to be the truth. Just looking at James, she could see how lost he was. How much it puzzled him to say such words. She lay back against her pillows, still searching James' face, all the while filled with emotions she had tried to keep at bay. The hurt, the anger, the loss. She and Severus had been drifting apart for years, but the loss was still very much felt.

"…How did he look?" Lily whispered.

"He looked…he looked like a man who was about to lose his reason for living…" James replied, equally quietly.

Lily stayed silent, trying to take that in. Lily didn't think James had the best observational skills, if his observation of her dislike of him before recent times was anything to go by, so him noticing such an expression on Severus…? Lily looked back at James.

"He helped me…he still cares about me…" Lily murmured.

"In front of the Death Eaters…I doubt they would recruit him now, if that indeed was his plan…" Lorelai said. "That's got to stand for something."

"I…should speak to him," Lily said, a little breathlessly.

"You need to rest. Do you need any painkilling potions?" Lorelai asked. Lily shook her head and nestled herself into the covers some more.

"I guess I should rest…" Lily sighed, looking disappointed. Lorelai stroked her hair with a small smile.


End file.
